


Natural Lubrication

by ceywoozle



Series: One Word Bottomjohn Prompts [51]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: All Dialogue, Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-04
Updated: 2015-03-04
Packaged: 2018-03-16 06:04:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3477239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ceywoozle/pseuds/ceywoozle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Part of the One Word Bottomjohn Prompt Series.</p><p>Sherlock and John go out to buy some lube.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Natural Lubrication

"Here, Sherlock. This one."

"That’s not the one we usually get, John."

"I don’t like the one we usually get."

"Why is this one better?"

"It’s natural ingredients."

"Yes, thank you, I can read. Why is it better?"

"It just bloody is. Anyway, since it’s going in my arse I don’t think you get much of a bloody say."

"Well it’s going on my cock, and since my cock is bigger than your arse hole, I think I get a say, too."

"Sherlock, for God’s sake. Can we just buy this lube? What does it matter? Look, it’s water-based. There are…look, organic ingredients, all-natural lubrication. It costs the bloody same, just buy it."

"I don’t want to buy it. I like the way the other one smells."

"It smells like plastic."

"I like plastic."

"You were complaining just last night that you hate the way it tastes."

"Oh for God’s sake, John. How often do I taste it."

"I don’t know, how often do we have sex, d’you think? Just buy the bloody lube, Sherlock."

"I will not buy the bloody lube, John!"

~~~~~~~~~~

"I can’t believe we didn’t buy the bloody lube."

"It was your fault, John. Anyway, you want all-natural lubrication? Here."

"….Sherlock."

"Yes, John?"

"Did you just spit in your hand?"

"Yes, John."

"….."

~~~~~~~~~~

"John? John. I’m sorry. Jooooooohn. Please open the door, John. John?"

~~~~~~~~~~

"Hello, John."

"….."

"Are you still not talking to me?"

"……."

"Erm. I got you something."

"…………."

"Aren’t you going to look?"

"What is it?"

"It’s…erm….lube. The kind you wanted. I bought…I bought a whole case. The sale’s lady said it really was the best."

"You bought. An entire. Case."

"Erm. Yes?"

~~~~~~~~~~

_Four days later:_

"John."

"Hmm."

"I apologise."

"What for?"

"You were right."

"About what?"

"The lube. It is better. The old stuff would have only lasted us three days."


End file.
